friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
