Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
