Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
