he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize