You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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