I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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