Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
