When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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