who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
