For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He shit in the fireplace
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
how does that bad decision feel?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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