i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
