i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm really busy with my period
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