dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
