it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
