im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize