I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize