I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
