Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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