He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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