i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
