I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
