So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
There's even glitter on my cock...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
