So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
