Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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