I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
