11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
