I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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