Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
