Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
