blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
