I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize