You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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