The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
