South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
