I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize