Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
