Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
