I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
