He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
