Sry I called you an 8
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
