Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
