Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
