If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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