I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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