I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize