Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize