I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
