Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
