Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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