Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
