I cockslap morals
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
