so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
