is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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