taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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