Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
