I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
