I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
