she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize