Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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