We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
