Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
