He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
