if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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