He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
