So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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