That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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