I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
