no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
