You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have already put on my inside pants.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
