she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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