have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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