I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
