i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
